….we grow old because we stop laughing.
Welcome to spring, a time for birth and mirth. Or, as Robin Williams said, “Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!”
That’s why I thought now would be a good time to share this gray-tinted collection of quips, quotes, one-liners and a few examples of capital PUN-ishment.
Some are my own, others virtually fell into my lap … top.
Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes, come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
The grandkids text me “plz” which is shorter than “please.” I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes.”
Then there are the grandparents who always offer sound advice — 99 percent sound, and one percent advice.
I don’t trip over things; I do random gravity checks!
Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can — and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
I don’t have white hair; I have “wisdom highlights.”
If God wanted me to touch my toes, she would’ve put them on my knees.
I’m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do that second week.
Of course I talk to myself, but only when I need expert advice.
At my age “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Some seniors are no good at counting calories – and they have the figures to prove it.
An elderly man and an elderly woman each drive their cars toward the other in a narrow alley. Neither can pass. The older man shouts, “I don’t back up for a stupid idiot!” The older woman shouts, “Well, I do!” as she shifts into reverse.
Men of Pause: A difficult time in an aging man’s life, when you’re too tired to work and too broke to quit.
At our age a synonym is a word you use when you forget how to spell the other one.
Forget CALLER ID, when are they going to come up with CALLER IQ?
Talk about getting the last laugh: An obituary described 83-year old Norma Brewer dying while climbing Mount Kilimanjaro with her pets. The obit continued: There is suspicion that Mrs. Brewer died from hypothermia after her dog ate Mrs Brewer’s warm winter boots and socks.
In fact, Mrs. Brewer was wheelchair bound and died from a stroke. Seems the fun-loving grandma always enjoyed a good laugh and decided to fabricate her own whopper of an obituary. Her son, Raymond Brewer, told a newspaper it had more to do with the way she viewed the world: While life is serious, it shouldn’t be taken all that serious. It was her way of having the last laugh.
Knowing when to laugh and when to be serious is the key. Tune in to my next column when we resume the serious subject of senior caretakers and PTSD.
Until the next time … keep thinking the good thoughts.
Central Coast – May 14, 2015 – (RealEstateRama) — Peoples’ Self-Help Housing (PSHH) is distributing Self-Help Home Builder Intake Application Forms on Saturday, May 16, 2015 from 10 am to 3 pm in Atascadero near the intersections of Atascadero Avenue and San Andres Avenue (across Atascadero Avenue from the old library).
The information and forms will be distributed at the site where the 11 Atascadero mutual self-help homes in Atascadero are planned. In addition, 24 self-help homes will be built in the community of San Miguel.
Applications are good for both self-help housing locations.
The new homes are designed as three and four bedroom, two-bath, single story homes with two-car garages and range in size from to 1,173 to 1,570 square feet. The homes will exceed current energy efficiency requirements by more than 15%.
According to PSHH Vice President of Home Ownership Sheryl Flores, “We expect over 100 applications for the 35 available homes.” Those that submit their applications by May 29, 2015 will be entered into a drawing to determine the order in which they will be processed. This drawing will be held on Monday, June 1 at 4:00 p.m. at the Atascadero City Council Chambers, 6500 Palma Drive, Atascadero. Applicant names will be drawn by Atascadero Mayor Tom O’Malley, Mayor Pro-Tem Heather Moreno, and Legislative Assistant Vicki Shelby from the office San Luis Obispo County Supervisor Frank Mecham. Applications received after May 29 will be processed in the order they are received after all the applications in the lottery have been processed.
Applicants who meet the income, credit, and other requirements, will work together to help build each other’s homes performing 65% of the work required. More technical work such as plumbing, heating and air conditioning, electrical, drywall and stucco is performed by subcontractors. The self-help builders generally do the foundations, framing, roofing, interior finish and landscaping. Two adults must commit to work at least 20 hours each per week to build the homes. A single head of household will need to find a friend or relative who agrees to help build the homes. The majority of the work is done on weekends because most of the self-help builders have full time weekday jobs. The length of time that it takes a group to build their homes varies from group to group, but generally takes 12 to 15 months.
The self-help builders cannot earn more than 80% of the county median income for their household size, yet need to earn enough to make the mortgage payments. The house payments including principal, interest, property taxes and property insurance are about $1,100 to $1,200 per month. Annual household incomes generally range from around $34,000 to about $65,000. To qualify, the applicants need to have good credit and landlord references.
Founded in 1970, Peoples’ Self-Help Housing has developed 1,200 self-help home ownership residences and over 1,500 affordable rental units in San Luis Obispo, Santa Barbara, and Ventura counties. For 45 years, the non-profit organization has not only developed affordable housing in over 30 cities and communities but has also provided community facilities, supportive housing programs, financial education, and youth after-school education–programs that foster greater self-sufficiency for low-income households, seniors, the formerly homeless, and special needs households.
For more information call Sheryl Flores at Peoples’ Self-Help Housing (805) 540-4465 or emailor visit www.pshhc.org.
Founded in 1970, PSHH is an award winning non-profit organization that develops affordable housing and community facilities for low-income households and homeownership opportunities for working families and special needs populations, such as seniors, veterans, the disabled, and the formerly homeless. With 1,149 self-help homes completed and 1,571 rental units developed, PSHH is the largest affordable housing developer on the Central Coast, with offices in Santa Barbara and San Luis Obispo. For more information on Peoples’ Self-Help Housing, visit www.pshhc.org, emailor phone (805) 781-3088.